Freaky Friday, or, "The Post That Couldn't Wait Until Halloween"

Okay. So.

(Do all of my blog posts start with, "Okay, so"? I'll have to conduct a survey on that.)
I planned to post this on Halloween, for three reasons:
1. Halloween falls on a Friday this year, and "Freaky Friday" is just such a....cute title for a post!
2. The post was, well, freaky. (Am I repeating myself?)
3. I don't remember the last reason. But I'm sure there was one. I'm really sure there was.

 

Regardless: this post couldn't wait for Halloween.  I just had to post it before.

 

Note: Oh, yeah! I just remembered the third reason: what if I posted it on Halloween and nobody believed me? (Maybe something along the lines of April Fool's—only, Halloween Fool's. Catchy, isn't it?)

 

Because if you think I'm making this stuff up, I absolutely am not.

Wait.

I guess I haven't told you what stuff I'm talking about yet.

 

Let's fix that.

 

Remember last week when I wrote that I read my blog more than anybody else, and am therefore entitled to post whatever I like?

 

Well, that was a little, itsy-bitsy tiny white lie.

 

Because I don't read my own blog more than anybody else.

 

And before I tell you who does read my blog more than anybody else,  let me back up.

It all started when I got a site meter. A site meter is an internet "tool" that ends up becoming an obsession; it gives stats like: who visited your blog, how often, what kind of web browser they were using, and, most importantly, their map coordinates.

 

Yeah. Map coordinates.

 

And, okay, yes.  "Hesperia, CA" had a lot, lot of hits.  I'm not the only one in Hesperia to visit my blog – there are eight people (five computers) in my household and, with our busy schedules these days, my blog probably has better information about me than they know "in real life".

 

But "Hesperia, California" doesn't show up as the number one visitor to my blog.

 

Do you want to know who the number one visitor to my blog is?

Well, I did, too.

I had map coordinates. (34.0416, -118.2988)

I had a general location. (Los Angeles, California)

So all I needed was a map.

 

Enter Google.

Here's what I found.

 

Go ahead and admit it: you're speechless.

I know you are.

 

So was I.

So that's the news that couldn't wait for Halloween.

Wait.

I forgot.

I don't believe in Halloween.

 

Whoops.

Forgot that little matter.

Still.

I'm sure it's just a mess-up; a cemetary can't really be connecting to my blog.

That only happens in, you know, Steven King novels and stuff.

 

Note: If you live somewhere near or around the cemetary and if you think maybe my site meter is off just a little bit and you're actually the number one faithful visitor to my blog, send me an email (nrhearn@gmail.com) and I'll collaborate on a future post with you. Provided, of course, that you are, uh, alive.