September Quote Post

September Quote Post

 

 

 

Yep. It's time for another round of quotes.

 

 

Nancy (to Scott, carrying lots of building plans): Do you need help?

Scott: Yeah—do you have a match?

 

Mark: I don't know the difference between getting a fixed-wing and helicopter pilot's license.

J: Uh, cost.

 

Nancy: So did you enjoy your lunch?

Mark: Sure. Why?

Nancy: I see your shirt enjoyed it too.

 

Mark: If you would have given blood, you could have had a classy pink arm-band right now.

 

Mark: Those two are koo-koo as cocoa puffs.

 

Jeff: What did you do with your carpet?

Jeff O: Took it to Advance Disposal.

Jeff: Disposing of things properly, I see.

 

Nancy: This Outlook Reoccurrence feature is…..amazing. [A little while later, mumbles:] I feel like a new woman.

 

Nancy: They couldn't stand eachother except to have eighteen kids.

 

Nancy: Man, Scott, you're sneezing a lot! What's your favorite flower, just so I know when your heart stops? We can make sure we have some of those on hand for the funeral.

 

Nancy: You say 'no' in German by saying, 'nein'.

Wayne: Really? Well, I mean, yeah, I'm German.

Nancy: Me, too.

Wayne: Well, how much?

Nancy: Um…probably…half?

Wayne: Then I'm three-quarters.

Nancy: Well, Wayne, you didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday, so it's not like you don't know about these things.

Wayne: Yeah, day before yesterday, actually.

 

Nancy: Are you ever afraid that you guys won't be able to get out of a hole fast enough, because he's so large?

Rick: That's why I always exit the hole first.

Nancy: Rick!

Rick: Well, you asked me a question, and I was going to answer you honestly.

 

Nancy: [That crow] was scrawny and ugly.

(Roland walks past at the last  half of sentence.)

Jeff: Nancy, I really don't think it's nice to talk that way about Roland.

Nancy: She always has a million and one reasons why it isn't her fault. Watch.

Nancy: Their company provides the porta-potties for CDF. Or, I guess it wouldn't be CDF—it would be Arizona-DF.

 

Nancy: Forgive me, Lord. And bless the pygmies in China—or wherever they are.

 

Nancy: This is stupid, but it just came to my mind—

Wayne: Isn't "it's stupid, but it just came to my mind" usual for you, Nancy?

 

Scott: Your wife was right. Take her to dinner.

Wayne: Wait, did I just hear you say that you're taking my wife to dinner?

Scott: No. You're taking her to dinner. And you're going to say, "Nice job, honey. You were right."

 

Jay: I thought there was a full pool when I left this morning. What happened?
Emily: He was playing water-polo with himself, and he got a little out-of-hand.

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